The Racing Irrigator

[newsueinWI]

I just wanted to share a little story.

I do crazy Spartan Obstacle races. 3 distances, a 5K, 8 mile, and roughly 15 mile. Do all 3 distances in a calendar year, get your trifecta medal. I did the 5K in May while on chemo, last weekend I completed my 8 mile race. I was with a friend and my sister. had to pack up all my irrigation supplies as we spent the night in the Chicago area the night prior to the race. I was a lillte worried about results being nervous about the race and the procedure in front of different people. Although they knew what I had to do. Everything went well i nthe morning (irrigating). I used support tape and a hydro seal to protect the flange. We climed up, over, under, thru some slippery clay mud and rivers, etc. I'm happy to report that things went amazing well. No output and everyrthing stayed on. Soaked with muddy yuck ewater, but I knew I'd have to change after the race so I was OK with that. It is amzingly freeing to feel cionfident to go to these events post diagnosis.

In 4 weeks from Saturday we will be traveling to Lake Tahoe for the "Beast" (actual name) race. 12-18 miles opf racing obstacle fun and completing my trifecta! I will probabl;y cry that things ARE possible even with a colostomy! You have to believe. I am different but am still me. I am not fond of the coliostomy, but we are in it together until ther eis a better, well tested option for us.

Wednesday will be my 1 year diagnosis anniversary. I already am feeling anxious about that. 1st follow up colonscopy 9/18. My husband is great but lately doesn't understand my emotions. I thinks he thinks I am fine. Still dream of the old days. Oh well. onward and upward.

So gald irrigating is working mostly well for me. makes me less apprehensive about eating fresh, raw fruits and vegetables. Trying to get back to eating clean and lose the steriod weight.

Thanks for listening. Enjoy your Monday!

Sue

[Lisa]

Yay Sue! Congrats on running your race successfully. With every victory confidence builds. While I was still in the hospital the ostomy nurse told me to remember that I was still the same person I was before. Don't let the ostomy define you. I hear her words in my head a lot. You and she are right, essentially we are the same people, but we have been changed in different ways too.
I understand exactly what you mean about your husband. Mine is the same. To him, the cancer is over. We should forget and move on. He won't acknowledge, at least to me anyway, that we still have anything to fear. I certainly don't want to live my life in fear and for the most part I'm not but the reality is that there is a chance of recurrence. I will always be anxious when it comes to surveillance testing. He wants me to just forget about it all, but I never will. It's hard because I feel like I can't talk to him about it anymore. He doesn't understand why I'm having a hard time putting it all behind me.
Good luck with the Beast! I'll be sending prayers and good thoughts for your colonoscopy on the 18th.

[ot dave]

Surviving cancer, you always think...."what if it comes back". I did that for first 5 years until I got the "you're cured, come back once a year" check up. I still get nervous for those annual checkups, but the other 364 days, I don't worry about it much anymore. I worry more about my wife now as she is starting to have some issues (not life threatening, just aging).

The only advice I can give, other than relying on your faith (which I do steadfastly), is to make as many memories as you can with the people you love the most.... sounds like you are already doing that. As a husband, I can tell you that they want you to be OK and not worry about things you have no control over....because as your husband, we want to fix things....and we can't fix cancer, so we would like to try to ignore it.... us guys want to fix things, and it is hard when we can't especially for our wives. So, try to not get too frustrated with them/us/me, and go out there and make those memories. You have been given a sequel to your life, go make it a good one.
Have a good day my friends.

David

[newsueinWI]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement and advise.

I am moving on mostly, have to stop feleing like cancer is still in the way and trust what I can do.

I have control over what I eat, what I say, what I do.

I am happy that I got the "your borders and lymph nodes are clear" result versus others not so lucky.

It's all about the transistion.

Sue

[Lisa]

[quote="ot dave"]Surviving cancer, you always think...."what if it comes back". I did that for first 5 years until I got the "you're cured, come back once a year" check up. I still get nervous for those annual checkups, but the other 364 days, I don't worry about it much anymore. I worry more about my wife now as she is starting to have some issues (not life threatening, just aging).

The only advice I can give, other than relying on your faith (which I do steadfastly), is to make as many memories as you can with the people you love the most.... sounds like you are already doing that. As a husband, I can tell you that they want you to be OK and not worry about things you have no control over....because as your husband, we want to fix things....and we can't fix cancer, so we would like to try to ignore it.... us guys want to fix things, and it is hard when we can't especially for our wives. So, try to not get too frustrated with them/us/me, and go out there and make those memories. You have been given a sequel to your life, go make it a good one.

It's good to be reminded of the male perspective. I do believe my having cancer was harder on my husband than on me. He was my rock through it all so I can cut him some slack now. We will continue to live life and make memories! Good advice David! Life is good and I am grateful.