Apologies for Absence/My 103-Year Old Mother Passed Away 1/12/21 due to Covid

[Diane C]

To all,

I am SO sorry I haven't been responsive or helping others. I am stunned that my best friend, my mother, Anne, who made it to 103 caught the newest strain of Covid. After becoming incredibly fatigued, refusing food or drink, and sleeping constantly, I brought her to a hospital in Rockville, MD with a fabulously supportive caregiver. My mother had refused to move to Assisted Living and chose 24/7 care to prevent a fall. She disliked having caregivers and has always been highly independent and loving, too.

She was in the hospital a few days but ripped out her IVs. Eventually, my brother in Nevada, and I had to face the facts. It would take a miracle for my mother to make it. She's now in hospice -- not eating or drinking much but her vitals are still quite good after 2 weeks of all this. She's ready to pass away but wanted to do so at home or in my place where she couldn't live due to the stairs to enter.

As I'm handling all the paperwork and other issues, this is overwhelming. Plus I adore my mother. She'd "give her left arm" for my brother and me. I am praying I can see her one last time. The clock runs out for that tomorrow at 10:15 pm as I can only see her 72 hours after my last negative Covid test -- and I've had three! My doctor won't authorize another and I understand that. It's hard to find the tests. And forget the vaccines. (I am 69 with moderate asthma but...)

The caregivers and health professionals I've met or talked with over the last 2 weeks are AMAZING. SO much courage! Gives me inspiration which I sorely needed as I live near DC. Challenging times!

I'm doing ok. Zenpep, the enzyme, has helped with my exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (EPI) although it does not come inexpensively. I wish Immodium tablets (or the generic) worked better. Still much output but I do like Coloplast's high-output pouch with Pearls sachets inserted. I've found a workable product at last.

Wishing you all a belated new year that's as filled with good health and joy as it can be. I'll catch up when I can and didn't forget you. I KNOW this group cares. This is quite a time right now. To 2021.

[oliveoyl]

Hello Diane C
I just saw your post this evening. I just can't even........I don't know how you are doing this. All my thoughts and best wishes to you, your brother, and your mom. This is just more than a person can cope with. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour, or one minute at a time. The world is just hard.

All the best from Olive Oyl. Let us know what's going on whenever you can, but we know your mom comes first.

[Diane C]

Thank you Oliveoyl, To Dream, and others,

Sad to report that my wonderful mom who made it to age 103 passed away on January 12 from Covid at a hospice center. I was VERY close to mom and my brother and I had one of the best mothers in the universe. She was loving and tough -- full of strength but couldn't fight Covid. It's exceedingly hard on seniors so take care of all family members but especially older ones. Covid affects ANY part of the body. In mom's case, as she was already experiencing some dementia, it affected her brain. She actually breathed on her own til the end. She was ready but not for the ravages of Covid and refused the IV which provided Remdesivir. For a while, she also would not eat or drink so that ruled out dexamethasone tablets. (Other meds can be administered by injection or rectally but not those.)

I visited her in protective gear before she passed. I'm unsure if she recognized me and I won't deny it was one of the hardest things I ever did. My mom deserved better but I have to believe she's now in peace.

As I'm really the only one handling everything, I'm been swamped and haven't had time to ponder or grieve much. (Or post on FB, here, or write an obituary.) Those will come. My brother and I are communicating but he can't help much with severe asthma and now living in NV.

I know you care. So do what you can do protect your family and close friends.

Thank you all.

[Mara]

Sorry to hear about your Mom's passing. May she rest in peace!

[phozzy]

So sorry to hear of your mother's passing, I too lost my Mom on Jan 11th and I can empathize with not having time to ponder or grieve much, be easy on yourself and know you are doing your very best. Our Mother's times of suffering the cares of this world are past and they are at peace.

[BillGK]

I just saw this, Diane. I am sorry for you and your family.

My mother made it to 100. I know that I should be thankful that she had such a long life and was healthy until near the end. But these thoughts don’t make it a lot easier. We only have one mother.

[paula]

So sorry to hear about your mother, diane. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!



paula

[nickolas]

I am so sorry to read about your mom's passing. From some of your other post, yes you were very close. You & your brother are in my thoughts & prayers.

nickolas

[Diane C]

Thank you ALL for your kind words and support. I've been VERY busy and am sure some of you can relate to that. So many forms, paperwork, accounts. My cousins and good pals (including my N.Va ostomy support group) have been terrific. I'd hired an assistant before my mom passed away and SO glad I did. She set up a great filing system for my mom and things will get done. I'm trying to sell some of mom's possessions or donate which isn't so easy during a pandemic but slowly but surely.

I do need to take better care of myself. I'd buy groceries for mom and then for myself. So, I need to take more time for that. And cleaning -- with the chaos now in my condo.

I rec'd my 1st Moderna vaccine and get the second in March. Hope you've been successful with that!

I'm still struggling with digestion, exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (pancreas not digesting fats so taking an enzyme, ZenPep), and called my GI doctor as I feel I have small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO). So, I need to supply another stool sample so we can see what's going on. I've found I can eat grapefruits just fine and they fill me up with no adverse consequences but need to limit fruit juices and smoothies -- I was using those without sugar but these have much natural sugar. I'm lucky that I can eat raw apples and am veering to vegetable juices for more hydration. Really hooked on no-caffeine Bengal Spice tea but need to eat more PROTEIN and tend not to cook but use the microwave. Trader Joe's has some good products -- a cod fish dish and protein burgers with no offending ingredients.

And still experimenting with high-output pouches. Dislike Sensura Mio ones due to the filter 1/3 the way down which can cause pancaking in my case so trying to get samples of Assura ones.

Thank you again. Miss my mom and wish she had simply died in her sleep as we hoped but she'd not want me sad and life does go on. Warm wishes to all, esp if you're in Texas!