For Singles with A Colostomy

[Smpauley]

Hello Fellow Single Ostomates!

While reading through many different topics and post on this forum I came across one that really hit home for me. I’ve been single for 3 years now and have been very picky after leaving a 20 year marriage. This past May 2022 I ended up in the hospital, very long story but after sepsis, life support, phenomena, organs failing, dialysis, colostomy, NG tube, then days later surgery for bleeding ulcers caused by NG tube, 2 months in hospital then home then a couple weeks later 2 blood clots behind knee and top of my leg..etc..etc..I realized maybe I shouldn’t have been so picky!!

It’s already hard being single and trying to get into a dating scene in my 50’s then out of nowhere comes an emergency colostomy…lucky me right!? I guess none of us ever really asked or really wanted our new friends but I know mine saved my life. It has been hard coming to terms with it and I struggle with it a lot. I have been on a date since but I can’t lie I was very uncomfortable. I just think if it were with another person with an ostomy it would be so much easier and so much more comfortable. I know it shouldn’t matter like everyone says but anyone with an ostomy should understand why I feel this way. Regardless it is the way I feel and I’m sure there are others that feel the same way. I don’t mean to offend anyone. Anyway, I had made a local Facebook for Ostomy singles as I’m in Louisiana but never got anyone to actively join yet. I will make it for a broader area and was thinking we could schedule virtual group meetings just for hangouts? From there if anyone is interested in getting to know anyone better then they would just be a message away on Facebook. Would anyone be interested in this? If so reply and let me know and I can then give y’all the information for the Facebook page and we could get together and make further arrangements on there. I did post a portion of this message on the other post that I had seen to be sure the other people would get it if they didn’t see this one. Well thank you good luck to us all..

Well I’ve edited the Facebook group and this is the Link if interested:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/6143075 ... group_link

[lolapergola]

Hi , have you tried meetanostomate ? I think it was set up for singles to meet ,
best of luck
Lola

[DaveG]

I'm single and it has never been an issue in any relationship. I wear a belly band in the bedroom to keep the pouch out of the way

[ErbOrb]

With this glorified diaper, I realize that I will never experience anything remotely resembling romance. Once any potential significant other finds out that I defecate into a plastic bag, it's "Auf Wiedersehen"! Thanks to this disfiguring deformity, I am guaranteed a life of despair and loneliness.

[darick]

ErbOrb, if you go into with that attitude, it wears off on others.

If you treat it like meh, its just a life saving device, it wont get in the way of giggity time, a partner will accept it easier.

If someone won't date you because of it, move on and keep hunting, that person aint worth your time.

[NEskier]

ErbOrb, if you go into with that attitude, it wears off on others.

If you treat it like meh, its just a life saving device, it wont get in the way of giggity time, a partner will accept it easier.

If someone won't date you because of it, move on and keep hunting, that person aint worth your time.

Beat me to it! And it does take time to accept the change, I'll grant that. But after that .... skies the limit. The unworthy sort themselves out fast enough and probably would have down the road anyway for something else.

[sabresfan18]

With this glorified diaper, I realize that I will never experience anything remotely resembling romance. Once any potential significant other finds out that I defecate into a plastic bag, it's "Auf Wiedersehen"! Thanks to this disfiguring deformity, I am guaranteed a life of despair and loneliness.

What you're feeling is entirely relevant and important. It's not necessarily gospel, though.

I'm not sure anyone here will tell you this gets normal, but it certainly can get easier. My inbox is open if you need an open ear or a friend.