UOAA Discussion Board

My 86-year-old father-in-law had a sigmoid colectomy in January 2021. Home now with colostomy. Anticipating takedown in August 2021. He has not been able to achieve independence with his own ostomy care. My 76-year-old mother-in-law has been his caregiver. They live together at home. She changes his bag. Changes his wafer. She's learned how to do it through youtube videos and trial-error. He knocks off his bag and even his wafer once or twice per week. Makes a mess trying to fix it himself. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law is now requiring surgery for onc/gyn and will be recuperating following surgery. She will not be able to manage his care. My wife and her brothers are at wit's end trying to help.

What suggestions do you have for arranging self-pay ostomy care for a very genial 86-year-old ostomy patient who just can't manage it himself? My wife and her siblings can provide caregiving 4 days per week, but they need someone for the other 3. CNA's say "no" when you mention ostomy care. Ideally, they need an ostomy-certified RN to be on-call for the odd times he knocks off his bag and/or wafer at 10pm. Is such a thing possible? How do we find out?

Welcome to our Discussion Board. Thank you for joining us. Did your father-in-law have an ostomy nurse while in the hospital? If so, they may be aware of others in your situation in his area & of how they were helped. His surgeon's office may be able to direct you also. Another option would be to contact a local UOAA Support Group. Many have WOCNurses affiliated with them.
https://www.ostomy.org/support-group-finder/
I know how frustrating your situation can be having had some experience with the lack of organized care available in our area when my husband was post-op with back surgery. Please keep checking back with this Board.
PS From personal experience, I have managed by addressing the hospital CEO or a state representative, etc. who are often wonderfully efficient at deligating my concerns thru the proper channels. I'm sure your father-in-law is not alone in this situation & by bringing it to the attention of those in charge may spur action that will help many others. May God bless you & your family.

Can you find any kind of home care, who could be taught your MIL's techniques? A fully trained ostomy nurse needs to know lots more than a single routine, so would be overkill for this.

You might also consider finding tight fitting shirts or belts that will help prevent your FIL knocking off his appliance. I believe this issue has been discussed here before.

As an 86-year-old codger myself, I have great sympathy for your father-in-law (although I have been changing my ileostomy appliance by myself for close to 60 years). I think it unrealistic to think that you can expect outside help to come at a moment's notice. You are on your own. As Steiconi notes, there are elastic bands or wraps available that fit around the abdomen and cover the bag. Perhaps this might prevent him from pulling off his appliance. (These wraps used to be advertised "for intimate moments"). Do computer searches for "ostomy secrets.com" under "men's wraps" or "ostomy hernia belts" or "shop ostomy supplies" or "stealth belt.com" It's amazing how much stuff there is out there now. Even Amazon sells these things.