His Takedown after 8 weeks-how can I help and prepare?

[HelpingHimSurvive]

Hi everybody:

I have found this forum so helpful in answering questions over the past 2 months - thank you =)

My dear husband has had a temporary ileostomy as a result of an emergency surgery. He experienced terrible pain and cramping early one morning and after being admitted to the ER it was discovered he had diverticulitis (we had no idea) and that his colon had perforated, resulting in an infection throughout his abdominal cavity. By the middle of the same day he was sporting a temporary ileostomy and we were in for a big learning curve!

Our 8 weeks have elapsed with some adventures with painful irritation around the stoma, etc, but no major problems. We are now preparing for his takedown in a few days and He is so excited as our nurses and surgeon have acted like the takedown is no big deal, with a recovery of overnight in the hospital and then "all will be well."

After doing quite a bit of research, I see that is not always the case. Incontinence, anal irritation, and diarrhea are not something my husband wants to think about or discuss with anyone. He is completely grossed out by this whole procedure and almost seems offended that I am not as well (I am so thankful that he is alive, healthy, and recovering well. I also think the human body is amazing and so stool emerging from a stoma vs. anus is just interesting to me, not upsetting or disgusting).

I know this is long, but I am unsure of how to prepare for our specific situation as far as recovery, and I also want to know if you can offer me any advice as to how to help/encourage my husband through this. He personally doesn't really want to discuss or research his procedures and so I feel the weight of knowing different side effects/possible problems that could occur after his takedown. Should I let him find out the hard way or give him some hints? If I mention adult diapers to him I'm afraid he'll pass out in horror

How about food - I'm the cook in our home and wondering how I can give him "soft food" for a resected small intestine if dairy is potentially irritating? He has been eating lots of cottage cheese and yogurt. In the first week after surgery? First month? After that? I am looking through documents online but am unsure as to what specifically applies to his situation. For example, he had about a foot of colon removed and has only had the ostomy for 8 weeks. Does that mean his reabsorption of water in the 4ish feet of colon remaining should be fairly good? Should all the parts work pretty well considering they've been resting for a short period of time?

Thank you for your patience with this long question and for any help you can give me. Have a great day!

[To Good Health]

Dear Helpinghimsurvive,
Your husband is one lucky man to have you for a wife!
Sorry you have not got any replies.

Did the surgeon address the question of water re-absorption with 4 feet of colon gone? I have a transverse colostomy and have poor water reabsorption.

(Btw, my reversal was not successful due to radiation damage to the rectum and/or due to surgery to remove cancer close to the anus - your husband does not have that situation.) After my reversal. I stayed away from raw veggies and fruits for quite a long time -except for bananas. It was agony not having the raw fruits and veggies.

My best friend was 'calmoseptine' a cream from the drug store. I did have some adult diapers but usually just wore a pad. This is worst case scenario. If I wore adult diapers (eg when travelling), I wore pads inside as they could be exchanged without the whole thing. Sorry this grosses out your husband. I love your attitude! We do what we have to do and are glad to be alive. I too had a perforated colon about 3& 1/2 yrs ago and am very happy to have survived.
All the best to you and your husband. Feel free to pm or email me if I can be of any help or encouragement.
TGH

[HelpingHimSurvive]

Thank you so much for the reply, TGH. I will pm you =)