An Anniversary

[To Dream a Dream]

St. Valentine's Day marks a somber & reflective anniversary for me. It is 55 years since the initial emergency GI surgery & resultant diagnosis of Crohn's disease that has directed the course of my life. Back in those early years (the dark ages as I often refer to them), a sensitive naively idealistic & enthusiastic young girl was suddenly faced with catastrophic chronic illness & the sobering realization of her own death. Support resources were sadly lacking at the time & I muddled through haphazardly with the occasional aid of a mentor usually plucked in desperation from the medical community, my own inner strength slowly evolving from a maelstrom of quivering inner feelings & a bloodied, battered but unshaken belief in a compassionate God.
Yes, there were bullies. Both without & within. The indifferent cruelty of the class room. Job discrimination, for want of a better term. Avoidance & separation shown by those to whom I had turned. Whether from ignorance or fear. Or some distortion of their own pity, I really don't know. It all added to my own sense of worthlessness that I kept secure beneath a bright politely distant facade of self-sufficiency.
And yet, with every new surgery. Each travesty performed upon my body & psyche, I did cling to my faith in a divine goodness that healed me. Perhaps not in a way I wanted. Or ever expected, but it was there. Expanding my own limited horizons. Forgiving my tawdry limitations. Shrinking my prejudices & cracking the shell of selfish introspection to release a vibrant inclusive empathy that transcends time & space.
My hope for this Valentine's Day & all that follow, is for our realty to break free of the relentless cycle of pain & suffering that undermines so many lives & share in the long-awaited promise of eternal grace.

[BillGK]

Beautifully stated. A triumph of the human spirit!

A belated Happy Valentine’s Day!

[To Dream a Dream]

Thank you, Bill. The death of that little child a few years ago who had been so cruelly bullied continues to haunt me. If my words can help in any way to prevent such a tragedy, I consider my own life to have been worthwhile.

[Diane C]

Wonderful sentiments -- and yes, Happy Belated Valentine's. I hope you were able to celebrate in an appropriate way to match your feelings.

[To Dream a Dream]

Welcome back, Diane. May your own Valentine's Day have been a reminder of the love you share with your mother & brother. We can feel as if we have lost everything in this life. But the love we give & receive burns on brightly within our hearts.

[Diane C]

To Dream -- My mother was a very special woman. Her parents were immigrants and she lived through the Depression. She worked til her 70s. Unlike my dad (who had the same GI functional disorder I inherited and other disorders), my mother was blessed with good health except for lousy feet. She was devoted to my bother and me -- and we were so fortunate to have her so long in our lives. She'll always be a part of me. Impossible to forget her. So grateful. She'd have turned 104 on 2/27. Loved trees and plants as she didn't see too many as a girl. So, a friend and I will honor her that day (temps to be in the 60s with some rain early in the morning but no snow) at The Arboretum in DC. Mom and I visited often. The azaleas in the spring -- unbelievable.

And speaking of spring, I can't wait til it arrives. I know you appreciate Nature, too. Hope everyone stays WARM and SAFE!